October 1, 2018 By admin
If you think hard about it, for fruits and berries, peels are like clothes. They cover up all the soft, fleshy, and indecent bits. Perhaps as a sign of respect for the sturdy base of the food pyramid, we don’t often peak beneath their protective layer.
But recently, a few lascivious produce peelers removed the skin of some household superfoods that we’re used to seeing covered up. This was a TERRIBLE mistake because these peeled fruits and melons look very unsettling without their clothes…
1. Watermelon: The melon with seeds for spittin’ normally wears an iconic green armor, but cut away its defenses and you’re left with something oddly satisfying…and strangely disturbing.
Would someone please karate chop this in half? The bulbous red ball remaining after stripping the poor melon begs onlookers to take a juicy bite while somehow looking like an inside-out stomach.
2. Aloe Vera: You may not be chomping into sunburn-soothing aloe vera like an apple, but that doesn’t mean this succulent should be peeled without prejudice. Doing so has unpleasant results…
Fried up with butter, soy sauce, and sesame seeds, peeled aloe vera might look alright. Without those fixings, it looks like an arctic worm that would overrun a town in a horror movie.
3. Blueberry: The famous scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory would have been a lot more disturbing if Violet Beauregarde turned into a peeled blueberry…just look at that thing! Gross!
4. Tomato: This man looks very pleased to have a tomato in his hands, but he’d probably roll it into a softly crackling fire if he saw it peeled. This tomato looks like it needs a coat.
5. Pineapple: Because this tropical plant imparts an impeccable sense of fashion on the produce world — even inspiring some human’s style choices — no one would want to see it peeled and naked, right? WRONG.
The peeled pineapple is peppered with pock marks that sully its sweet and tasty flesh. It looks pathetic in a way, like it’s begging to be redressed with its fashionable exterior pokeys.
6. Egg: Surely, you might say, there’s no way to peel an egg without creating a splattered mess of egg yolk on the countertop. But that’s where you’re wrong. It’s possible, but only a maniac would do it. Why?
Submerge an egg in vinegar for a while and the calcium of hard shell dissolves, leaving this unsettling sight. This is good for one thing: throwing very hard at a very solid object.
7. Strawberry: No, the little girl isn’t screaming with excitement over a fresh pick of strawberries. She’s screaming because she saw the slimy horror of a peeled strawberry, which looks like a fresh wound.
8. Pomegranate: Perhaps our heroine wouldn’t be reaching so intently for the dropped pomegranate if she knew they looked like a shattered human heart when peeled.
9. Coconut: You might go coco-nuts for that famous furry shell protecting the flesh and milk of this tree’s seed, but you can’t truly appreciate the armor until you see a naked coconut.
Credit where it’s due: it must’ve been tough to peel a coconut like this. But like all other fruits, this should not have been done. It looks like a calcified brain, or a nut — go figure.
10. Avocado: Would you reach into a bin of avocados and pull out the good-fat fruit if you knew it looked like a removed gallbladder when peeled?
After all this, it should be clear: please keep the fruits’ clothes on. These peeled foods looked positively pathetic and strangely unsettling!
Share these peeled fruits and melons with your friends below!